prison song

1. blogging i guess helps me get the weight off my shoulders, but it's not as good as speaking to you on the phone.
2. im sorry for fucking up and being stupid and lying.
3. i had a relaxed disposition on things but i realized now i am fucking up.
4. if i could go back to two years ago, i wouldnt start off like that and be as true as i possibly can.
5. im sorry to all the people that have been affected by my stupidity and sorry for fucking you guys over.
6. im sorry to all my friends that i recently lost cause i didnt care to talk to yall, i choose to ignore you and that was fucked up.
7. im sorry for using you, one of my best friends, to try to know shit that i shouldnt even worry about. me and you always have arguments and shit but you are always there and hopefully im there for you too bro.
8. im sorry for talking to you like that and messing around and shit and hopefully i didnt ruin it for you. hope you guys are doing well.
9. im sorry for not bringing out the complete truth, i know i shouldnt lie about anything or hide anything and now i feeel like the biggest dick in the world.
10. im sorry for taking advantage of your presence and shit at school and now youre gone and you were my only true homie at my gay ass school and now you go somewhere else, i dont deserve such good friends like you.
11. im sorry for neglecting to speak to you and talking to you on a daily basis. you created everything in this world and i havent been thanking you for all the good things i have in this world. im sorry for being too materialistic and im sorry for not praying to you as much.
12. im sorry for getting into this relationship shit too deep but i cant help it cause i love you.
13. im sorry i lied to you and a couple others, but most especially you.
14. im sorry to all those people that i wasnt as nice to but they were always nice to me no matter how much i fucked up. i know i dont talk to you guys as much and im going to try to change that. your friendships are unconditional and i thank you for that.
15. im sorry for not respecting you two as much i should. these past years ive been doing my best to be there for you two. you guys blesssed me with such a good life and love me so much and i love you guys too.
16. im sorry for not talking to you anymore, ive known you since pre-school and we separated ways as we went to different high schools. you were always my best friend and now i dont even see you more than 2 times a year. you too were always there and helped me out with anything. you are so smart and you are going to be very successful and im thankful for knowing you cause you motivate me to do better things.
17. im sorry for looking down on you about what you want to do in the future. i realized that whatever we do in the future, we have to just be our best at it, whether its being a lawyer or being a houseparent. you are very intelligent and you dont know it, i hope you can live it to the fullest.
18. im sorry for not replying to you as much as i should. from 4th grade till now you talk to me about my walk with God and i rarely reply and not show you my full emotions. you are real strong in your beliefs and i want to be just like you, you are like a prophet from the Lord always helping people, and im very blessed to be able to know you, and hopefully i can see you one day and help you out and everyone about spreading the Word.
19. im sorry for not talking to you guys as much since you came to live here with us. you two are amazing and smart and going to be successful soon after everything gets settled. when you guys come back friday i will not only try, but i will spend more time with you guys.
20. im sorry for acting stupid and abusing your former trust. i know now that every little thing that i do that was bad had a big effect on what you think of me. you now do not respect me, but i respect that decision, cause i deserve that.
21. im sorry for wasting the past years for you. high school is just started for you and you shouldnt be stressing about someone like me cause im not someone who deserves you. you are such a beautiful girl and very wise and intelligent. you helped me realize how fucked up ive been and thats a good thing cause i dont want people knowing me as someone being like that. i wished people would see me as a nice person, but apparently im not known for the right reasons. i fucked over the only person in the world that i really really really liked (even love), and she was the only person i wished i would never lose... now we are moving our separate ways and i hope the best for you cause you are going to be great one day. i wish i could be there for you and be there unconditionally but it now seems like it will never happen. you mean so much to me and all i hope for now is that you are happy. i know you thought you knew me better than that, i thought i knew myself better than that too. i hope i dont fuck up anything with anyone else in the future cause i dont think i can lose anyone else after losing you. i know you are real angry with me, and i know i deserve all this shit thats happening to me now. im just tryna let this burn right now and hope for those better days... ill pray for you everyday and pray that your life is full of fortune and happiness. I love you.

fuck what you feel, realize what is real.

inevitable wasn't it?


"and she tries to grasp that feeling she once felt when she was so godamn happy"

was last night a dream?
I'm just dreading those last few moments...


stay strong mayne, look for those better days...

f.r.i.d.a.y.

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn! i wish you would show me love! stop trippin, ma dapa ka!



Sunday! Big things happening in Asia and coming from Asia!